Basketball therapy

Today, spent a good hour in the gym and played a pickup game with EJ. From my time in the gym i noticed that I am having confidence issues due in part to anxiety and emotions. I still have the skills to play but I lack the confidence to allow myself to be consistent. Hoping to have some confidence in the coming days while meeting new people. But I am glad that I can always rely on basketball for my therapy.

What a Trip!

Before heading to the gym, I stopped by the cafeteria. I was shocked to find this girl, sitting with her friends. She didn't seem like a regular cute college girl and caught my eye real well. She looked nearly identical to one of the girls I spent years with. I look forward to seeing her around. Next time, I will find out who she is.

Affection or Affliction?

College? What is most abundant during these years of our lives? Books? No, rather what most college students face today is the interaction among coeds. We see it everywhere in the halls, cafeteria, classrooms. Most people are lucky to find people that understand them and spend their time with. But what happens to the rest? It is truly sad to see how some people treat the opposite sex. We see a lot of manipulation due to an assumed "power" people believe they hold over others who may appear different. I believe the barrier between affection and affliction thins each day. False hope flies around campuses more than the smell of strong perfumes and body sprays. To be honest, it seems as if we cannot meet genuine people anyway. It just seems sad.

Muscles or Mussels?

Today went great, took a solid hour to work out in the fitness room. I was able to push more weight on all the machines. My arms are finally growing bigger. Afterwards, I went with a group of friends to eat at KFC and share some good laughs. Looking to push my workouts to 4 times a week next week.

Hypocrites

Why is that everyone is so quick to judge? Is it that most people find nothing better with their existence than to force their beliefs unto others. I find it sad that all humans are hypocrites by nature. Yeah, without even realizing it we all do become critical of others. I, myself, might not be a decent human but I tend to be humble and leave everyone to act for their own. Humble, that is very difficult because the fact of noting that one is humble is an act of not being humble. Each day, my mind always changes the view of the world. It may be correct in saying that we live in a "infinite" world in the sense that nothing is for certain or as predictable as we see it.

Reflection

Today was bored, stayed in watched some videos and did some studying. Finally complete my order for Amazon. There's just something that always seem to intrigue my mind, this girl. I barely say a word but she seems to tell me some things that my other friends do not usually share. I wonder how things usually happen in coincidences. I seem to notice that girls i spend time getting to know either have a relationship or get out of one in about a month since meeting me. It makes me wonder if its just a happening or I am somehow connected in a weird way for that to happen to me about 8 times now. Otherwise, it was good to see that my physique is improving slightly. My target in the next months would be to cut around 10 pounds while still toning muscle. Unfortunately, I am unable to join the basketball tournament. I'll end with a lyrics that remind me of that girl.

"Imma be right here when they're all gone. I was thinking that maybe i can be the one."

Good Day

Today was great. Had time to do school work and work out with good company. I still need to condition myself but was glad that my leg strength still held up. Had fun in the conference room doing nothing but watch funny videos. And it was funny to watch Daniel "lose his balance". I think the girl thought we were checking her out which made everything way more funny. Whoa!!! All in all, today was great not too much stress, not too much pain. But it pains to see that some of my friends are not doing so well with their relationships.

Inner struggle

Interestingly enough, I found myself baffled at the question of sports. I found that there will be an intramural tourney at my school and was quite intrigued. Now, the question stands whether to try to form a team or look to find another. But the same could be said that I have not the passion to play competitively again or maybe im just missing my confidence again. Always seem to trouble myself with that.

Pursuit of Happiness

Another long day of life. Today, I found a rather unique number of moments of serenity that I haven't been able to acquire during my studies. My Calculus class was rather turbulent and made me question the importance of actual attendance. However, my psych class made up for the confusion in calculus. We had a fun demonstration about controlled conditioning. It actually made me question whether I needed some conditioning as well. Maybe, I don't seek to find someone else but rather I seek to find peace within myself. I guess the pursuit of happiness will require for some much needed soul searching.

Another day at the university.

Today was horrible. Once again my ID180 class wasn't worth the time to wake up in the morning. It was interesting to go around the campus repeatedly with my friend. But what this day brings to mind is what i tried to get away from in Saipan. Just another day spent contemplating the decisions made or impressions left behind. But I do hope to find someone to soothe the pain of the past.